Top Ten Reasons Oprah Winfrey Lost Weight...

1. She couldn't decide between the Atkins and South Beach diets, so she tried both at once.
2. She picked up a bottle of diet pills that were mis-marked "Ritalin."
3. She decided to skip her daily brunch at Dairy Queen.
4. She got a haircut & bikini wax.
5. She finally found a personal trainer that wouldn't give up on her.
6. Her nearby KFC went out of business.
7. She found a Thigh-Master XL that didn't break when she used it.
8. She cancelled her weekly Twinkie Appreciation Club meeting.
9. She sprinted out onto the stage, instead of the usual sluggish jog.
10. Her maid 'accidentally' filled the milk jug with heavy laxatives.

LOL - moktoman