Top Ten Reasons John Kerry Won't Win the Presidential Election...
- He still won't admit his public speaking teacher was Ben Stein.
- His best friend is Michael Moore.
- He is actually Ralph Nader in disguise.
- He still thinks his service records are more important than the war on terrorism.
- His 2nd cousin, once removed, is Mary Carey.
- Bush unintentionally acts stupid; Kerry unintentionally IS stupid.
- The nickname Dubbya sounds cooler than Eff (John F. Kerry).
- God, the decider of fates, is most certainly a Republican.
- His wife is most likely one of many (the rest are in Vietnam).
- Kerry always acts like he has a stick up his butt.
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